Bombs, bombs away!

Right, so apparently we have a "truce" with the Autobots. Good to know. Right. Whatever.

[Locked to Megatron]

No offense, my Lord, but are you out of your slagging mind? We've been fighting for millions of stellar cycles! Why stop now?

[/Locked]

Anyway, claiming the highest point on base for me. Trespassers aside from Lord Megatron will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

How the frag do these 'bots act normal? How can they look at that... mockery that stupid little yellow glitch has put up in the common room? How do they keep going?

This planet sucks.

You may go on with your daily business.

[LOCKED]

So, you told him. You stupid slagger. He's a 'Bot, you're a 'Con. He doesn't understand the thrill, the hunt... But he's still him and he's the only one who cared enough to come down there to save your aft.

So, what does that make you to him? Probably nothing. Probably exactly like his brother and would probably slag you over in the end.

But I still want him. Not even in the physical sense. This is... so slagging weird. I don't do relationships.

But apparently you do.

He'll probably just toss it back in my face anyway and that'll be that and we can get on with being prisoner and jailer.

Slag.

[ LOCKED TO SLINGSHOT ]

So... uh... what do you want me to do?

I mean, seriously. I'm getting bored sitting around and doing nothing. I thought <s>we</s> I was supposed to be doing things.

So, out of the hole, finally. Weird slag is going down apparently. Creepy, drone-like posts? Check. Thanks to Slingy for convincing Megatron to let me live and not rust to death down there. I'll have to thank him appropriately.

My Pad seems... in decent condition.

Time to make myself at home again. Interesting.

By the time you slaggers read this, I'll be gone. I'm joining Galvatron. Excuse me, make that Lord Galvatron. It's quite simple, really. He's offering me the chance to do what I'm supposed to be doing. He's giving me a chance to make the galaxy burn underneath us again. He's doing what the Decepticons should be doing instead of living on this stupid base.

Megatron - I followed you for nine million years. I trusted you to be the strongest, to lead us. In the end, what did you give us? Nothing. Here we are, on a backwater planet, with nothing to do but get drunk or spark our afts off. You bend over backwards for Prime to accommodate Autobot rules and laws regarding fighting and the stupid organics. Isn't that part of the reason we started fighting in the first place? To get rid of the old order? To make the galaxy fear us? To rule? No. Apparently, we're going right back to the way things were, where the Autobots get to lecture us all about peace and happiness and justice and the Cybertronian way.

On top of that, Galvatron beat you. You're the one who drilled into us that the strong rule and the weak are discarded. You're the weaker one, so I'm simply following the stronger leader.

You can keep thinking it's an isolate incident, but all of the Decepticons know that we're not meant to be here, doing nothing.

To the Pit with Prime and his stupid laws.

I'm bored out of my slagging headcasing. All I do is patrol, recharge, patrol, recharge, overcharge, patrol, overcharge again, do some more patrol and then recharge. And then overcharge. I need something to do.

Vortex, hurry up and get your aft out of the brig so I have someone to get drunk with.

...back again.

I know all of you missed me. But rest assured that I was never in any danger and was safely in my pad the whole time. What was I doing, you ask?

I was drinking away the pain of the breakup training myself and working on my combat techniques. Can't let the skills get too rusty, y'know? Anyway, I know you'll all be thrilled to have ol' Divebomb back among all of you guys again.

Lord Megatron? I'm at your disposal, as always.

Oh, and Commander Starscream too, I guess. If I have to.

Vortex, buddy, how ya doing?

Divebomb over and out.